Thursday, June 9, 2011

Star Wars Celebration VI!

So my friends, in case you've been living in the stomach of an asteroid space slug this past week, Star Wars Celebration VI has officially been announced! The Empire shall be invading Orlando, Florida on this world called Earth August 23-26 2012 at the Orlando Convention Center! Make sure you're there and help me fend off rebel scum and ewoks alike!

Here are a few photos from Star Wars Celebration V that should help you in your decision to not miss out on CVI!!!

Wednesday, June 1, 2011


Ewoks... they are the most deadly creatures known to the Galactic Empire. I have heard many a taunt, many a jeer or laugh directed towards me and my brethren for "being beaten by teddy bears". I caution you all to never judge a book by its cover. In this case, never judge a creature by its cute and cuddly exterior. Ewoks are savage, dangerous and deadly.

Recently I thought I ahd become friends with one of the furry companions of the Sanctuary Moon of Endor. I cared for her, took her outside to enjoy the air, rocked her to sleep, and worst... let my guard down. These creatures are not to be trusted. I let my guard down... and before I knew it... BAM!!! rock to the back of the head. BAM BAM!!! sticks to the back of my knee caps. BAM BAM BAM!!! Clubs to the chest and stomach. And then it all went black.

Take my words and do not let my caution fall on deaf ears. Ewoks... Are... Not... Teddy Bears! They are ravenous little killing machines that can tear even the most experience of soldiers to pieces!

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

That Stormtrooper Guy is Back!

After almost a year on hiatus, That Stormtrooper Guy is back! Let me be the first to say from experience, the Rebel Alliance DOES in fact keep prisoners of war. Granted the foods and lodging were far more comfortable than standard imperial barracks… but I am glad to be back on base and serving the Empire with an armored fist!

I felt it was a fitting day for my release, the 34th anniversary of the destruction of our first Death Star…. Or as some of you may simply refer to it as… 34 years since Star Wars was released in theaters. All the same, it’s a Star Wars Day and let’s party like it’s 1977!!!! *Enter Disco Star Wars Music*


Look for new content and a revamped site in the very near future! It’ll be exciting! Tell all your imperial loving friends about and a few of your rebel friends too ;).

Monday, June 28, 2010

These aren't the droids we're looking for

After stopping an old man in a robe for a droid inspection I suddenly forgot a segment of time. It's almost as if something came over me, and then next thing I knew... they were gone. :)

I haven't fallen into a chasm of the Death Star or anything. Just wanted to let everyone know That Stormtrooper Guy is still unharmed! Check in soon for some updates from the past few weeks that have gotten backlogged.

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Happy Mother's Day from the Empire!

Well today is Mother's Day and what a more perfect topic for today than Mothers! Everything we do, everything we care about is because of our Mothers. There's a rumor going around that one of the events that started our Dark Lord of the Sith down on his path of the Dark Side was because people messed with his Mother.

It holds true on Earth and throughout the entire Galaxy. We love our Mothers. I'd like to take a moment to wish EVERY Mother a Happy Mother's Day and a very special Happy Mother's Day to my own Mother (pictured above in my loving embrace). So next time you Rebels want to try to shoot at a poor Stormtrooper like me, think of this picture and think "awwww but he loves his Mother, how can I fight him?".

Happy Mother's Day Everyone!

8702 out

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Troublesome Tuesday - Handling the Heat

As I mentioned in yesterday's post... The heat can be the worst enemy of a Stormtrooper or any soldier of the Empire. On today's Troublesome Tuesday, I discuss the hardships handling the heat as well as the methods of surviving.

Worlds most frequent questions a stormtrooper gets asked: "Aren't you a little short for a stormtrooper?" and "Isn't it hot in that?". The answer to the second is almost always YES! On rare occasions when a stormtrooper might be out in 14 degree cold, they will be comfortable. Anything hotter or more humid and you're looking at a yes answer.

The primary cause of this is the helmet. Ever go out in the summer and wear a hat and just feel so hot from the hat itself because you can't feel a breeze on the top of your head and the heat cant escape well through your scalp? Ok, now consider that the hat is completely covering your head with little gap available at the neck. Now you've created a pocket of heat that'll just beat you down.

Secondly is obviously the full encasement in armor. Heck anything short of shorts (pun intended) is too much material to wear. A stormtrooper before ever putting armor on is encased neck to toe in solid black... can anyone say "sun absorbing"? Add the armor ontop of that to block out the breeze over 90% of you and then the helmet to prevent heat from escaping and you've created the perfect (though awesome looking) attire for a heat stroke.

Hydration is very important to prevent this and you will often see stormtroopers disappear for 15 minutes every so often. This is most of the time us going into a private area like our changing room, taking our helmet off to gasp at fresh air and let heat escape and drink down some water, cold or not.

Another important step to help with heat are helmet fans. Often using small CPU (computer) fans mounted in the helmet, a Stormtrooper can atleast simulate a breeze over his or her face to make the heat more bearable. This is nothing like the fans you'll have on in your house. Being so enclosed in the helmet doesn't really allow much but warm air to be circulated, but compared to not having the fans, it's a life saver.

Personally, I don't have the fans in my helmets at the moment... But with the summer heat fast approaching, and my exhaustion from this past weekend... they will be reinstalled very very soon.

Heat truly is the worst enemy of a stormtrooper, more so than an entire fleet of Jedi scum. Independant of the toll it takes on the trooper itself is the havoc it will deliver on the armor itself. Thin enough plastic can warp, glues can melt, velcro can un-stick... the list goes on. If you want to make a stormtrooper your best friend in the whole wide world... offer him/her shade or a bottle of water and you will be eternally joined at the hip.

Signing off I'd like to wish everyone a Happy Star Wars Day and May the Fourth be with you!!

Monday, May 3, 2010

A Weekend of Heat

The Heat and Humidity has a knack for draining a Stormtrooper of all the energy he could possibly have. But that didn't stop me from making this apst weekend an awesome weekend. Saturday was Free Comic Book Day around the globe. You may have stopped by your local comic shop to pick up some free comics and get good deals on others. But the occasional comic shop probably had a squad of the always fan favorite Star Wars characters on hand to celebrate the fun.

Yours truly appeared alongside 7 other troops at Comix Connection on the Carlisle Pike in mechanicsburg on saturday. Pictured above on the far left in my Shadow Trooper, you can see me absorbing the sun like there is no tomorrow. But the fans loved it as you can clearly see from the awesome people we drug out of their work like moths to a light to dare the dangers of crossing traffic to visit the awesome Galactic Empire ;).

Sunday was Friendship Day at the Philadelphia Zoo. I decided to take the day off for once and actually be the one taking pictures, though didnt plan my wardrobe appropriately and still ended up all in black. It was a hot one for sure but a fun weekend all the same! Tune in tomorrow for Troublesome Tuesday where I think a perfect topic to cover will be Handling the Heat :D.

Friday, April 30, 2010

Photo Coverage - Counting by Empire

On This weeks photo coverage we visit a recent photo taken during the Lehigh Valley Autism Walk in April 2010.

The photo was taken from the ground looking up at 10 of us with numbered signs assisting with the 10 - 1 countdown to start the walk. It's a Where's Waldo of where I am, the answer will be at the end of the post :).

Obviously Chewbacca had to kick things off with 10 also being the tallest we put him down in the incline so the number 10 wouldn't be several feet higher in the air then all the rest. Though it sort of ended up that way has some of the middle numbers got a bit shy and didn't hold theirs up over their helmets.

It was a fun way to help kick off the autism walk and a good photo capture of the Empire doing its best to present the numbers of the day to you like Sesame Street.

For those playing at home, That Stormtrooper Guy is Lucky Number #3! ;) thanks for playing :)

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Troublesome Tuesday - Range of Motion

Today on Troublesome Tuesday, yours truly will cover Range of Motion. Stormtroopers have never been known to be the most agile of the galaxy's workforce. The protective armor of a Stormtrooper can be very restricting. It's no wonder a scared Han Solo can easily outrun a battalion of us standing in the Death Star.

To give you an idea of the restriction of the armor, I challenge you to stand up right now and see how far back you can bend your leg at the knee. Can you get your foot the whole way back so your heel is touching the small of your back? Well even if you can't I guarantee you've far surpassed the range of a Stormtrooper. At best, most Stormtroopers can barely bend their leg back 45 degrees before the shin armor and the thigh armor touch behind the knee thus preventing further movement.

By the above restrictions, I pose a question to you... What is a Stormtrooper's worst enemy? If you said Jedi, Ewok, Rebel, or the Boss' Force Choke... you'd be very wrong. The correct answer is STAIRS!!! Requiring usually more range of motion than our legs in armor will allow, it takes full body movement sometimes to take down stairs. Often shifting weight and repositioning the back to get a foot up one step. Now this is not the same for everyone, some stormtroopers have an easier time than most. I personally can annihalate stairs like a stairmaster. But it took practice and technique that could have better been put towards increasing my "precise aim".

The same range of motion is restrictive in the arms and torso. The wait the ab armor restricts a greater range of spine movement, bending over to pick an object off the ground is practically impossible (but has been done). Shoulder and Chest Armor often prevents the arms from reaching too high up or too far to one side. Asking a stormtrooper to itch his left shoulder with his right hand is like asking a Gungan to be less annoying.

In closing, the restricted movements of a Stormtrooper is definitely due to the armor. Someone moving very slowly in armor could be an Olympic gold medalist in track. Every trooper has their different speeds, but none are any where near as agile or fast as they are in normal civilian clothes.

Hope you've enjoyed this installment of Troublesome Tuesday. Plenty more to come because as Stormtroopers... we definitely have our fair share of Troublesome quirks to deal with.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Photo Coverage - Earth Day

On this week's Photo Coverage, we go Earth-friendly in honor of Earth Day today! This photo was taken at the Erie Zoo in Erie, PA back in May 2009. We found a lovely little photo op on a bridge overlooking some excellent natural scenery in the zoo.

As a Galactic Soldier from planets far away, I am quite impressed by the beautiful habitat of this planet you live on known as Earth. Seeing such wastelands as Tattooine and Geonosis... This planet is quite rich with life. So on this holiday of Earth Day, a Public Service Announcement from That Stormtrooper Guy. Keep your planet clean, healthy and green!!!

OR ELSE... I'll be back with a Death Star ;)